Time for a comeback?

 Well, I stumbled back across my blog that I forgot I even started many moons ago. I think now is probably the time to pick it back up and start documenting my journey. 

For anyone medically inclined, I recently found out that my labs were very out of range, especially my lipid (heart health) panel. If I dont make changes now, it could be very bad down the road, and its not a long road before its irreversible. Im too young to let this be a major issue. I still have things I want to be around for, though that is a major hurdle also, but thats a mental health story for later. 

A lot of what Im going to be doing is looking/posting heart healthy recipes, mental health coping mechanisms, and just an all out dump of negativity. 

There has been a lot that has happened since I started and lost track of this blog. 

Many family members have passed, moved, or just not in contact with anymore.

There have been new friends that came into my life, and old friends that left, new jobs, new interests, and new challenges with alcoholism with my husband. Its been rough, but maybe starting this blog back up will help me with all of the struggles and frustrations and help me get back to where I should be. 

I know im hard to love and be with, but I know Im worth it and worthy. Come hang out and watch the progress. Welcome back!!

~Silver

My New Hobby

Recently I started creating dream catchers again. I've been practicing and have had a few good and a few bad turnouts. I have worked with owls, Dr. Who charms, and a gorgeous Tree of Life. I'm getting ready to make a few Seahawks themed dream catchers, a rose dream catcher, Sun/moon, and many others (if I don't have it now, I can usually have it within a week). I can can create a unique dream catcher based on a custom request in a variety of sizes, themes, and colors. My most recent was a Dr. Who theme for a bridal shower gift, paired with relaxing two-toned blue candles (obviously the candles were a unique addition, and not included in any orders). I am looking forward to creating beautiful, one of a kind, individualized pieces, and eventually having a few custom creations that someone may enjoy as well.

Its life, get over it already!!

Since apparently no one reads my blog, I'm going to use this particular page as my venting station. The economy has taken a huge dump in the middle of a pool making it uninhabitable, it has taken such a steep nosedive that it may never recover...no matter how you look at it, the world today sucks, but you know what? I have my family, and they are healthy! What frustrates me however, is the fact that I bust my ass day in and day out to get ahead. Now I don't want to get way far ahead, or even have any ambitions right now to do anything more than just get my head above the uninhabitable water, but it definitely isn't easy! When I was younger, I had a relationship with someone and got pregnant. It wasn't anything that was planned, but I also wouldn't change it for the world. However, 8 years later, apparently I got pregnant all by myself...or at least that's what the $4300.00 in back child support says. I mean really, is it so hard to pay your child $138 a month to be able to get the things he needs??? Really? He is MY top priority, and I try my hardest every single day to make sure he wants for nothing, that he has everything he needs, and doesn't know we are dirt poor. I know most mothers, and even a lot of families go through this, but really, is it so hard to ask the other half that is responsible for the conception of a child to step up and take care of his responsibilities? I am so frustrated, because he we are starting another school year, and I don't know if I can even scrape up $20 to go to goodwill to get him some "new" used school clothes because he is now in the stage of his life where he is going to grow like a weed. It is almost worth a trip back down to Utah to go find the other half and vent my frustration. Sorry this sounds like a rant, but it is, Of course I really don't have to worry about it since no one reads my blog anyway.

My Opinion

So as this post says, this is MY opinion and if you don't like it then go find one of your own.

Recently I was asked if wanting to try new things with other people is wrong. It depends.
The person that asked just so happens to be married. This person will remain nameless for confidentiality reasons, and to protect their privacy so I will refer to them as Lulu and Bubba.

Lulu has issues with remaining faithful it seems no matter who she is with, and Bubba gets mad but doesn't really do anything about it. So when Lulu posed the question to me about whether it is wrong to want to try new things with other people, I actually had to take myself out of the situation and look at it from the outside.

Being married myself, I could not even imagine "trying new things with other people" that does not include my husband; personally I have no desire to try new things with other people even with my husband, however I know this is not the view of everyone..again MY opinion.

My response to Lulu was that it depends on your belief system. If you want to try out new things without your partner, you need to maybe see how it would make the other person feel. Maybe they tell you to go for it, maybe they decide to leave. Anyways I could really go off on a tangent, but I am trying to stay on topic. My point is this: If you are married, or in any kind of relationship at all, you need to evaluate your situation. I know there are a lot of people out there who are mixed sexualities, and not just straight or gay. I have no problem with that, however cheating is cheating if your significant other (SO) has no idea about it beforehand, and sometimes even after.

My response to whether wanting to experiment with others while in a relationship is wrong , is that TO ME it is wrong. I explained to Lulu that it depends on who you ask as far as what opinion you get, cause everyone knows the saying about opinions, and if you don't please ask I have no issues giving you my opinion at all.

The way I phrased my complete answer to her question is simple. It depends on your beliefs and your own morals. To me, cheating is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Do I think cheating is stupid? YES! However, as I told Lulu, I am happy with my husband, and maybe if she feels the need to find comfort in another then maybe she truly isn't happy and needs to do some soul searching. I also told Lulu to ask herself if she could see herself spending the rest of her life with her husband and if so, is she going to be happy enough to stop cheating and just be happy with him.

These are really some tough questions to ask yourself because you really do have to evaluate yourself, and for some self evaluation is extremely difficult, if possible at all.

So here is my opinion to all out there who are cheating, have cheated, or are thinking about cheating:

If you need to cheat, you are not happy, and if you are not happy, then why be in that relationship at all no matter who it is with. Evaluate your own situation, because it is not worth the anguish of worrying about the other person finding out, or the guilt because you did it. If you have to cheat, you should move on because you are obviously not in a productive relationship that fits you.

And that's all I have to say about that. I would love to hear any feed back. I may not agree with your point of view, but like I said, you know what opinions are like............

New Beginnings

So here I am on a new week that has so far been plagued with migraines. Unfortunately they are stubborn and usually last 3 days but I AM NOT going to let them get me down. After much deliberation and analyzing everything in the last couple weeks I have decided one thing. I don't need anyone to back me until I back myself. I am going to persevere and prove to everyone that I can do it, and I can do it without their help. Lately I have noticed that I have had problems with motivation, and I just figured out the cure. My motivation is to prove to myself and everyone else that I am me and I CAN DO THIS!!!! Time to go work on my resume and get that job I have been wanting. Hope everyone else is having a great night.

Just another day

So yeah...I am supposed to be working on my Religions of the world Hinduism report, and my protein article search for my Nutrition class...So why am I here? Because I absolutely cannot figure out for the entire life of me, how to get motivated. :( I am so sick of how my life is going right now, but I dont know how to change it. I had a good motivation technique when I was in Utah working at McDonalds...get the hell out. Now that I am out, I have lost it. I'm not sure what I am going to do now other than do the best I can and hope things work out. Maybe it is time for the meds again. God I hate yo-yoing. My family definitely doesnt deserve the roller coaster ride. My poor sweet awesome amazing husband puts up with so much. Guess tomorrow is a new day, and I gotta make the best out of this one that I can.

So today has been a very busy, fun filled day. Made a breakfast omelet/quiche with mom this morning, did some cleaning and then got down to the fun. We decided to put up all of our Halloween decorations inside and out and had alot of fun doing it. I have pictures posted on my FB page, which I plan on keeping up, but this is the place I am going to do most of my rants, frustrations and happiness. I hope to keep expanding on this blog and make it an enjoyable experience for myself and any others who would like to join me. I love to cook, so that is primarily what this blog is about....cooking. I will post recipes and pictures from time to time. I would love to be able to say every day, but sometimes before I know it, the day is done. Anyway, welcome to my blog, I hope you enjoy and please dont be afraid to pot a comment and let me know you have stopped by, or what you think, or maybe even some suggestions. Happy Blogging!!